The Military Spouse Friend Breakup Nobody Talks About

You met at the FRG meeting. You bonded over the shared trauma of IKEA furniture assembly while your spouses were in the field. Your kids became inseparable.

Then PCS season hit.

Military spouse friendships are intense. You skip the small talk phase because there’s no time for it. Within two weeks, you know each other’s deployment schedules, family drama, and medical histories. By month three, you have each other’s emergency contacts memorized.

These friendships burn bright because we know they have an expiration date. Orders come, and suddenly the person who helped you through the worst moments is packing boxes for a duty station 2,000 miles away.

“We’ll stay in touch!” you both say, meaning it completely. And maybe you do, for a while. The group chat stays active. You comment on each other’s posts.

But eventually, life at the new assignment takes over. New friends fill the space. The messages slow down.

It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just the way this life works. We collect people, love them fiercely, then scatter across the globe.

Your phone probably has a dozen contacts you haven’t texted in years but can’t bring yourself to delete. Each one represents a chapter, a duty station, a version of yourself.

Maybe send one of them a message today. They’d probably love to hear from you.