The Military Spouse Friend Breakup Nobody Talks About

Military spouse friendships have gotten complicated with all the PCS cycles flying around. As someone who’s experienced this particular heartbreak multiple times, I learned everything there is to know about these unique goodbyes. Today, I will share it all with you.

You met at the FRG meeting. You bonded over the shared trauma of IKEA furniture assembly while your spouses were in the field. Your kids became inseparable.

Then PCS season hit.

Probably should have led with this part, honestly. Military spouse friendships are intense. You skip the small talk phase because there’s no time for it. Within two weeks, you know each other’s deployment schedules, family drama, and medical histories. By month three, you have each other’s emergency contacts memorized. That’s what makes these bonds so deep so fast.

These friendships burn bright because we know they have an expiration date. Orders come, and suddenly the person who helped you through the worst moments is packing boxes for a duty station 2,000 miles away.

“We’ll stay in touch!” you both say, meaning it completely. And maybe you do, for a while. The group chat stays active. You comment on each other’s posts.

But eventually, life at the new assignment takes over. New friends fill the space. The messages slow down. I’ve watched this pattern repeat more times than I can count.

It’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just the way this life works. We collect people, love them fiercely, then scatter across the globe.

Your phone probably has a dozen contacts you haven’t texted in years but can’t bring yourself to delete. Each one represents a chapter, a duty station, a version of yourself. That’s what makes scrolling through old contacts such an emotional experience.

Maybe send one of them a message today. They’d probably love to hear from you.