The Five Stages of Learning Your PCS Orders Changed

You had Hawaii. HAWAII. Your spouse already bought sundresses. The kids practiced their surfing poses. Then the branch manager called.

Denial

“There must be a mistake. I have orders right here. H-A-W-A-I-I. Let me call someone who knows what they’re doing.”

Anger

“Fort Polk?! FORT POLK?! I’ve been in fifteen years! I did my time at Polk! Who did I wrong? Was it that PT test where I walked the last quarter mile? That staff officer I cut off in the parking lot?”

Bargaining

“What if I extend for two years? Three years? I’ll re-enlist right now on the spot. I’ll take any MOS. I’ll become a cook. Please. Not Polk. I’ll volunteer for every detail. Just anywhere else.”

Depression

*stares blankly at wall* *googles “things to do near Fort Polk”* *finds one tourist attraction within 90 miles* *closes laptop* *lies on floor contemplating career choices*

Acceptance

“The fishing is supposed to be good. Cost of living is low. My spouse can finally start that Etsy business. This could be… an adventure? Growth opportunity? Character building?”

Acceptance usually lasts until you arrive and realize there’s one Walmart serving the entire region and the nearest Target is in another time zone. Then you discover the humidity.

The orders change again in eighteen months. This time, surely, the Army will remember you exist.

Narrator: The Army did not remember.

But hey, at least you learned to fish. And you’ll have stories. So many stories.