The DFAC Menu Decoder and What They Actually Mean

Learning to read a DFAC menu is an essential survival skill they don’t teach at basic. The words on the board rarely correspond to the reality on your tray.

Consider this your field guide.

“Country Fried Steak”

Translation: Meat-adjacent product of indeterminate origin, breaded and fried until it achieves the consistency of a hockey puck. The gravy is mandatory because the gravy hides many sins.

“Cajun-Style Chicken”

Translation: Regular chicken that sat too close to a container of Tony Chachere’s. The “style” is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this description.

“Chef’s Special”

Translation: Whatever was about to expire, combined with whatever else was about to expire, given a creative name by someone who will not be eating it.

“Fresh Vegetables”

Translation: Vegetables that were once fresh, possibly during the previous administration, now boiled into submission until they’ve achieved a uniform gray-green color and the structural integrity of wet paper.

“Homestyle Meatloaf”

Translation: Dense protein brick that genuinely tastes fine if you don’t think about it too hard. Surprisingly reliable. The one thing they can’t mess up.

“Premium Selection”

Translation: It’s steak night. The one day per month the line wraps around the building. Time your arrival poorly and you’ll be eating “Salisbury steak” instead, which is diet meatloaf with existential questions.

“Breakfast for Dinner”

Translation: We give up. Here are eggs. The eggs are fine. Nobody complains about eggs.

Pro Tips

The potato bar is always a safe bet. The salad bar varies by location but is generally trustworthy. The desserts are where the DFAC truly shines, because you can’t really mess up sheet cake or soft serve.

Avoid anything called “surprise.” There’s a reason it’s a surprise. The reason is never good.

May your trays be full and your stomach complaints be minimal.